Friday, May 9, 2014
Blending In: "The Not-You" And "The Real You"
So What's A Journey?
A close friend once decided that we are here mostly to watch. Who watches and perceives from watching, is a real you just waiting to participate in each of our journeys. Could be, I think that the teacher who penned Ecclesiastes agrees.
When he ended his treatise, he declared that what we conjure up as important to our journeys, as defining of who we are, so many times falls short on realism.
The antithesis of a realistic journey appears to be an absentminded straying from who we are--to a conscious blending in with the crowd. The pursuit is an ageless one. We assign benefits to leaving our real selves behind to fit in with the thoughts and actions of others whom we have elected to emulate Thus, one's 'not-you' boldly usurps one's 'real you'.
To blend in, we have to set aside who we are, and then take on a fake self that thrives primarily on the fake approval of others. Were our gadfly 'real you' permitted to live and have its being, the uniqueness of each individual could contribute oh so much more to our world!
Examining The Payoffs:
My eleventh grade psychology teacher, offered the class this bit of wisdom. She said," Climb the education and the business ladders, rung by rung until you reach the summit. But as you do, leave nothing behind of who you are this very moment."
In effect, she was saying that the goal of reaching the top is not to build a new self but to allow the 'real you' already in each of us to grow into all that each of us was meant to be. .
Striving to blend in, may set any of us up with a beautiful image of ourselves while we relish the admiration of others. All the same, its payoff is so often uncomfortable and shallow, surviving only as long as we choke hold our 'real you' from being a part of the journey.
Self Improvement/Self Realization:
In the last quadrant of the 20th century, enumerable books and television shows devoted a huge amount of time to self improvement. The accepted thinking those final few decades was that most humans were incomplete, lost, or in need of rehabilitation. The question begged that if all needed a makeover, did not the gurus who treated those in need, require a form of guidance themselves?
It was not that some form of change was not an apt approach to recover one's 'real you'. The second question that begged was whether acting out having blended into normalcy benefited either the individual or the world in which the individual lived. Summarily, the 'not you' is a remarkable time waster, no matter the costume one might choose to camouflage its ineptness.
Important Questions Seeking Answers:
Can authentic self improvement be so simple a thing as self realization? Who are you? Instead of whitewashing ourselves as look-a-likes to those we hope to emulate, don't you and I have a good thing or two to offer the world around us? How do we realize our 'real you' into being?
For example, I realize that there is a self within me that will not permit me to overlook certain boundaries. No law enforcement agency is needed. I know not to intentionally hurt another. I know not to disregard stop signs even when no one else could possibly see me drive through the intersection. My 'real you' accompanies me 99% of the time.
What is more, I notice that the more I take the time to pick up a discarded glass bottle in the park--preventing a child from falling on it-- the more my 'real you' grows and becomes one with me, When it does, it usurps the 'not you' lurking always around to catch me unaware and then blend into me.
And so I watch and realize my real self, my 'real you' into existence.
Life's most progressive journey begins with watching, seeing, perceiving. That is the place where the real you can be found